The light in my eyes dimmed drastically following the rape.
I want to be as transparent as possible, but I have to limit a lot of details to protect the innocent and the “not so innocent.”
The first point I want to make is that I am a female in my 50s. This is important to note because it is statistically less common to be sexually assaulted as one ages. According to RAINN:
• 15% of sexual assault victims are age 12-17
• 54% are between 18 to 34
• 28% are ages 35-64, and
• 3% are over the age of 65.
My goal is to connect to every/any victim/survivor, but I particularly want to reach victims/survivors like me who didn’t expect to be sexually assaulted at an older age.
I met him via a dating app, which seems way too common from what I hear on the news.
I interacted with him twice before he raped me.
My rape was not some dark alley deal after a night of drinking.
My rape took place during the day. I was sober.
I felt terrified and FROZE
I went to my GYN to get tested for STDs since he didn’t use protection. I went to the police to file a report, and I had a rape kit done at the hospital.
I can’t get into the legalities other than to say the case, at this point in time, is not being prosecuted.
While initially I was devastated by that decision, I would strongly encourage any victim/survivor to consider going through the whole terribly grueling, humiliating, painful process of seeking justice because:
1) it is empowering
2) I can live with myself because I did EVERYTHING within my power to seek justice
3) My evidence may help the next victim
4) Rape will continue to be a dirty word that gets swept away in the dark abyss of shame and fear until victims/survivors consistently come forward and say NO MORE.
I know my story feels cold and sparse, but the journey to healing is the most important focus of this site anyway. The what happened, where, when, how are incidental. The impact sexual assault has on victims/survivors seems pretty similar. So after a sexual assault happens…..it’s NOW WHAT?
Speaking My Truth 