Welcome

Welcome Victims/Survivors of Sexual Assault:

I was raped a few weeks before the world shut down due to Covid-19. 

Many well-meaning people have told me I am not alone, but truth be told: I feel very alone. And if you are a sexual assault victim/survivor, I’m sure you feel alone, too.

Yet while this world shutdown has kept me from outside sources that I thought I desperately needed, the pandemic led me to resources I didn’t know existed that reside within myself. 

I have created more than 140 pieces of art — the old-fashioned way with paper and canvas and paint and quotes and found art. It’s been my way to grapple with what happened to me, to try to heal, to try to get this trauma out of my body. 

What has been most healing is when I have been able to speak my truth — to practically anyone who will listen.

My goals for this site include:

• Bring rape out into the open

• Help victims/survivors not bear the burden of blame

• Place blame where it belongs: on the rapist/s (even if it is just the victim/survivor who proclaims that silently or aloud or publicly)

• Offer validation and possibly provide some hope, even as I still struggle to cling to any. 

I have gone public because bearing witness has been the only thing that has empowered me, that has made me feel even close to being whole again, that has helped me to continue this long arduous journey of healing.

Why should I hide? Why should I feel ashamed? I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG! But what is wrong is that rape is shrouded in so much darkness and shame and self-loathing and near zero prosecutions. 

One friend told me to use my voice! That seemingly is the “only” thing left to do, but oh, I can be so LOUD! 

I hope my loudness will encourage you to engage with me in positive and healing ways. And maybe then none of us have to feel quite so alone. 

*I use both victims/survivors because I don’t want to leave anyone out. It took me months before I could “embrace” the word “survivor.” While some people swear by using one term or the other, I think we are both: we are victims of a horrendous crime. Calling ourselves victims allows us to understand that a crime was committed against us that had nothing to do with us and everything to do with the person/people who assaulted us. We are survivors if/when we are able to even attempt to move forward with our lives despite all the pain and anger and fear that threaten to engulf us. We will never be the same again — it’s nearly impossible to “move on” — but if we are still breathing, then we can be called survivors. 

My main goal for this website is to share this journey I have been forced to take as a result of the worst five minutes of my life, which changed me forever. I hope you will feel comfortable reaching out to me so we can travel together.

Please note: If you want to leave a message, the form asks for an email address, but it is not required. Provide as little or much info. as you are comfortable sharing. Comments will not post until I review them, so if you want to reach out but don’t want your comment posted publicly, just say “private” on it. Thanks!